so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
