even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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