Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
