ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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