Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize