At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
