we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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