Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
