OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
