ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
