508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
They have beer where we have blood.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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