its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm jealous of your bromance
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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