omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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