How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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