i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
