You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
