I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
