in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You may now shotgun with the bride
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Randomize
