Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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