remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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