Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
