I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
