you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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