in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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