Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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