Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
