I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize