You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I need to calm my uterus...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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