He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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