I wanna passion pit in your ass
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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