He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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