i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
