I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
