I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
