I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
BRING THE BAGELS
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
