shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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