I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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