I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
