the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
