Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
