to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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