if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
