it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
