brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
