do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
