I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
