i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
