Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
