i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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