If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
