one might say we're banned from that church
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
