Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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