Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
