I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
