just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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