I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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