I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
birth control should be required to get into college
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize