His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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