You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
