it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
