guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Randomize
