Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
