There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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