if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
is it fun? or sober?
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