if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
