just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
