I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
