So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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