Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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