apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize