My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Last time i carry you out of a forest
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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