You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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